DISSOLVE TO:

INTERIOR. BENNY'S HALL - NIGHT
OVER SCENE MUSIC: "Keep the home fires burning"
Benny is burning a cork on a candle.
With it he blacks his face.
Putting on his plastic Macintosh, picking up his bundle of chimney sweep’s poles he leaves the house.

EXTERIOR. BENNY'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Benny crosses road. He looks up at the grass in the gutter.
He screws the poles together and leans them against the house.
Slowly climbs the poles by putting his feet in the string loops.
He manages to get onto the top of the bay window.
Looks up at how far he has still to go, it is obviously impossible.

Benny looks through the window he is opposite. The room is the kitchen of a flat, it is empty but a light is coming through a partly opened door. There is a kitchen cabinet full of food in the foreground.
He licks his lips and tries to open the window.

A faint VOICE is heard.

Benny stops trying to open the window.

The light through the door goes out.
He puts his hands back on the window, quickly removes them and rubs the paint work with his sleeve.
Looks up at the grass in the gutter.
Benny goes back down to his pole.
He bundled them up, goes to the door, writes a note and pushes it through the letterbox.

EXTERIOR. BENNY'S HOUSE - DAY
The milkman is delivering.

INTERIOR. BENNY'S HOUSE - DAY
Benny is turning his trousers round.
He bends down to looks through letterbox.
Sees the milkman and tries to beckon him by over waving his hand through the letter box.

The milkman delivers to the other side of the road but does not cross over.

Man comes out of house opposite, blows a RASPBERRY at Benny’s house and walks off.

Benny is looking through the letter box at the milk bottles on the other side of the road.
He gets up and returns to search kitchen. Looks in practically empty larder, searches pockets.
Benny puts on his plastic Mac and rolls up his trouser leg, wraps a scarf round his face, carefully folds a tea towel and puts it over his head and ties it under his chin. He now looks like a woman.
He practices walking back and forth.
Thinking he has reached the required standard, he leaves the room.

EXTERIOR. BENNY'S HOUSE - DAY
OVER SCENE MUSIC: "Madamoiselle from Armentieres"
Benny comes out of the house.
Looking to see if anyone is watching he crosses the road to the house opposite. He's screwing up courage to make a grab for the milk.
Benny steps forward, reaches down.

A hand grabs his arm. He looks up.

It is an OLD WOMAN. She gives him a parcel and points down the road to a post box.
She gives him some money.

A boy pulls up on a bike and SAYS something to the old woman.

The old woman takes the parcel from Benny and gives it to the boy on the bike.

The boy cycles away to the post box.

Benny looks at the money in his open hand.

The old woman shakes Benny’s arm, then points to his hand with the money, then to the direction of the cyclist.

Benny nods.

The old woman walks off.

The boy cycles back, Benny steps into the road and flags him down.
Benny SAYS something to the cyclist and points back down the road.

The boy nods and pedals off.

Benny turns and looks at the milk on the step he shrugs crosses the road and goes into his house.

INTERIOR. BENNY'S KITCHEN - DAY
Benny is laying the table. He places a bottle of sauce in the centre.

There is a KNOCK at the door.

He quickly puts on his plastic Mac and scarves, rolls up his trouser leg and goes to the door.
He opens the door.

Outside is the cyclist, who gives him two parcels.
He gives Benny some change and waits expectantly, hand outstretched, for a tip.

Benny shuts the door and goes back to the kitchen.

There is a KNOCKING at the door.

Benny removes Mac and scarves.

The KNOCKING sound continues.

Benny picks up the rugby ball.

The KNOCKING stops. Benny listens, all is quiet.
He sits at the table, picks up one parcel and smells at it. Opens this parcel which contains four pork pies.
He arranges them carefully on his plate and cuts them.
Unscrews the top of the sauce bottle smells it, then pouring sauce over his pies proceeds to eat them.
He stops, goes to the cupboard and gets out an onion, which he places in the centre of his plate and continues to eat.

Benny finishing his meal puts his plate on one side.
He sets the other parcel in front of him and carefully opens it laying back each sheet of paper.
Benny smiles. It contains six gimlets. He screws each one of them into the table, all in a line.
He takes a saw from a drawer. He saws off the bottom six inches of his chair leg, at an angle to form a wedge. Unscrewing one gimlet, he carefully screws the gimlet through the wedge.

DISSOLVE TO:

INTERIOR. NEIGHBOUR'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Benny is screwing another gimlet through a wedge.
He is screwing it to the floor behind a door to prevent it from opening.
Benny fills his bag with food.

There is a NOISE at the door. Someone is trying to enter. The gimlet wedge is jamming the door.

Benny points his rugby ball threateningly at the door.

The wedge holds the door so Benny makes his escape through the window.
He throws down the ball and his booty and climbs down his chimney brush ladder.

INTERIOR. BENNY'S HALL - NIGHT
The door opens and Benny enters breathing heavily.
He drops his bundle and booty on the floor and leans against the door.
Turns the key in the lock and bends to look through letterbox.
Stands up turns and smiles. Looks with glee at his bag of provisions and goes into the
KITCHEN
Benny takes out his booty and rubs his hands with glee.

He taps each of the remaining gimlets one at a time with his forefinger.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:
OVER SCENE MUSIC: "Oh! oh! what a lovely war"

STOP ANIMATION SEQUENCE - One at a time the five gimlets disappear.

STOP ANIMATION SEQUENCE - The chair disappears, a wedge at a time.

INTERIOR. POLICE STATION - DAY

STOP ANIMATION SEQUENCE - The chair rebuilds, a wedge at a time.

POLICE SERGEANT, looking at it and scratching his head.

INTERIOR - BENNY'S KITCHEN - DAY
The larder is full.
Benny is eating at a well stocked table.

There is a NOISE at the door.

He stops eating and picks up the rugby ball. Benny listens.
He leaves kitchen carrying the rugby ball carefully in front of him.

EXTERIOR BENNY'S HOUSE - DAY
Benny looks out. There is no one there.
Steps out, walks to the end of the road, looks down the street. It is empty.
He looks up the street. In the distance, are a group of children in a circle playing with a ball.
Benny looks at his rugby ball and then he looks at the children.

Benny tries to get close to the children without being seen. He makes full use of all available cover, going through garden, detouring behind houses, climbing fences, hiding behind a hedge he gets so involved in this he forgets how lethal the rugby ball is that he is clutching to his chest.
Benny looks at ball, realises what he is doing.
Holding ball carefully at arms length, he crouches down behind the hedge putting the ball on the ground.
He looks through hedge at the children are playing in a circle.
Benny crawls to gate with the rugby ball, carefully he opens gate and looks out.

The children are playing.

Benny's rugby ball rolls out into the road, slowly. It stops in the centre of the road.

The children do not notice it and carry on playing. They start moving away from the ball.

Benny is still behind hedge CURSING. He crawls to the gate and goes through, crouched double.
Looks around to see if anyone has seen him.
He runs to the ball, carefully picks it up and holding it at arms length, still crouching low, walks towards the circle of children.
He gets quite close and CALLS to the children.

BENNY
Pssssssst.

They do not turn.

Benny CALLS again.

BENNY
Psssssssssst.

They stop playing and turn to look at him.

Benny swings the ball back at arms length, ready to throw it.

There is a SHOUT (OS)

Benny stops and turns.

There is a POLICEMAN advancing towards him.

Benny crouches down, twists round, with his back to the children.

The children LAUGH.

Benny throws ball at the policeman.

The policeman side-steps, and catches the ball in mid-air.

There is a TWANG from inside the ball but nothing happens.

Benny is puzzled he straightens up.

The policeman with one end of the ball grasped in the palm of his hand raises it over his head and throws it.

Without thinking Benny catches ball against his chest. He realises what he's done and looks terrified.

There is a loud metallic TWANG.
Benny winces with fright, looks down and closes his eyes.
When he opens them he sees the blade is sticking out of the ball at the end away from his chest.

The policeman walks up to Benny, shakes him and points to blade.

Benny shakes his head and hands the ball to the policeman.
Still shaking his head he points to the children.

Policeman walks past Benny to the children.
He SPEAKS to the children they shake their heads and point back at Benny who's walking away very quickly.

Benny breaks into a trot, then a run.
Slows down to a less conspicuously fast walk, he looks behind him.
He cannot keep calm and breaks into a run again.
Stops and turns around casually.
Benny walks the last few paces theatrically slowly and casually.
He enters house without looking round.

INTERIOR. BENNY'S HOUSE - DAY
Benny is sitting on a chair by the kitchen table.
Calmly he takes out his cigarettes and matches and puts a cigarette in his mouth. His hands are rock steady. He strikes a match and lights his cigarette, shakes out the match and puts it back in the box on the table.
He takes a long draw on the cigarette, removes the cigarette from his mouth and exhales.
Puts the cigarette on the edge of the table.

When he lets go of the cigarette, it falls on the floor.
He picks it up and replaces it on the edge of the table.
Lets go again, it falls off.
He picks it up and replaces it on the table.
It falls off.
Benny stamps his foot on the cigarette angrily.

POUNDING on the front door.

Benny goes to the front door and it looks like some one is trying to break in.
He is undecided whether to hold the door or not.
Risking it, he goes to the kitchen and unscrews a gimlet from the table.

POUNDING and SHOUTING (OS)

Benny returns to the door with his gimlet.
He turns rushes back to the kitchen and gets a saw.
Starts frantically sawing the chair leg.
Stops, starts again.
He cannot wait and breaks the wedge off.
Goes to back to the front door fumbling with the gimlet, wedge and saw.
He drops the lot on the floor and kneels down.
Benny starts screwing the gimlet into the wedge to hold the vibrating door.
When he's finished he stands with his back to the door to hold it

POUNDING and SHOUTING stops.

Benny wonders why, then decides to make his escape through the back door.
He races through the house to the back door.
He opens it.

The policeman is standing there with the rugby ball.
He walks in.

Benny retreats backwards into the kitchen.

The policeman indicates by pointing to Benny then to a chair that he must sit, and pulls out a chair from under the table for himself.

Benny sits on his chair.
There is a CRACK.
He falls to the floor having sat on a chair with a sawn off leg.
He winces with pain.